This week marked ‘International Women’s Day’ & ‘Mother’s Day’ ~ Day’s for celebrating all things woman!
A lot of people concentrate on the wonderful job we have of carrying human life form inside us, being a mother, a life giver, a wife, a homemaker etc. However, if you are single and childless do not feel any less of a woman or feel uncelebrated, unrecognised or insignificant! These days ARE for you too!!
I decided to write a poem to encourage those of us who are single and childless to still embrace days we feel highlight our ‘don’t have’s’ and instead celebrate all that we do have – after all we still have the power of being a woman! 😉
“We are woman.
We are love, we are care, we are nurture, we are encouragement, we are strength, we are kindness.
We are inclusive, captivating, patient and able.
We are the wiping away of tears from our own unfulfilled yearnings of motherhood, as we look after and parent the offspring of others.
We are capable of not wanting our own children but still loving children and spending time with them in enjoyment and care.
We have that capacity to love beyond surnames, bond beyond family ties, join beyond blood bonds, unite beyond differences.
We are time givers, hug givers, love givers, caregivers, advice givers.
We smile with strength through our sorrows.
Showing our scars, these war wounds are our beauty marks.
We are Woman”
~ Poem By Helen’s Journey
How these things can’t take away your ability of being a loyal partner or your maternal instincts to look after a child:
A woman who is able to love, nurture, care for and be there for a child that isn’t her own biological offspring – is still fulfilling the motherly role. Maybe you are an aunt, a sister, godmother or without an official title attached; simply a maternal caregiver to a child.
That ability isn’t because you carried the child inside you for 9 months or isn’t because of the bond created as you gave birth to them and held them close. Instead, that ability to look after a child like they are your own comes from being a woman, that built-in maternal capacity to nurture and look after others.
It is in the power of ‘Womanhood’ not just of ‘Motherhood’!
As child-less women we can still be an amazing parent – only it isn’t to our own biological children.
As single women we still get to be that amazing partner you would be as a wife – only it isn’t within a marriage, it can be in any of the other relationships you do have in your life:
- with a best friend,
- your siblings,
- a friendship group,
- work colleagues,
- your boss,
- your church life group that meets up each week or once a month,
- the support group you’re a part of,
- at the place where you volunteer with a group of people needing a supportive relationship in their life as its lacking.
The list could carry on, but I’m sure it’s got you thinking of your own lives and the relationships you have built up personally.
If you’re thinking you don’t really have anyone close, don’t worry – as you have every day of your future to change that. Even smiling at strangers is handing out that natural nurturing and care giving gene within.
We don’t need the title ‘wife’ to be able to maintain lasting partnerships!
We have the capability of building strong, loyal, reliable relationships where you stick together, helping and supporting each other through life. Making nice memories sharing in life moments together along the way.
No it isn’t a romantic relationship as in a marriage. But that doesn’t mean we can not exercise the qualities of a wife before or if ever, we actually become a wife.
The point is, a single, childless woman can still emulate all of those maternal and wife like qualities before she gets those official titles or even if she never does.
I know if I never have my own children here on earth with me, that although not the same, I still got to experience glimpses of motherhood through my involvement and relationships with my nephews (and my ‘soon to arrive’ niece in the future), God children, children in my wider family and children of friends. Not forgetting all the children I have taught in drama sessions, after school clubs, activity days etc.
I love to love, to care, to educate, to encourage, to engage and to nurture. I couldn’t wait for the official title of ‘mother’ to be a maternal woman, because it was already a part of who I am. I can’t wait until I get the title ‘wife’ before I commit to a partnership with loyalty, time and care – because I’d of missed out on so many beautiful non-romantic relationships I have in my life, esp my loyal partnership with my best mate.
Blood only gives you the title ‘Mother’, it doesn’t make you motherly – your actions do that:
One of my Aunties who doesn’t have her own children, showed me what it was to mother a child who wasn’t your biological child. As growing up she looked after us, invested time in us, listened to us, played with us, educated us and gave us enjoyable life experiences together going on day trips etc. she made the choice to grow and nurture those maternal instincts with us and we all loved her even more for it!
I also call some Mothers of my longtime friends, not only by their name but with Mommy in there too: eg: ‘Mommy Sonia’. Why? Because for over 20 years these strong women had me in their homes like I was their child, yes that includes telling me off if needed! lol.
In return ‘Mommy Sonia’ introduces me as her ‘other daughter’ and my Mom introduces her daughter as her own too – we’re family like that without the shared blood or genes and that is the whole point I’m making in this post.
Even Jesus did this as an example to set for today, He was dying so he told his best mates to now look after his Mom like she was their own mother and told his Mom his best mates were now her children – It’s special to still do this today in our own lives, if we are childless or motherless, to adopt our own families in life!
John 19 verse 25 – 27 (NIV translation)
“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,”
and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
So for us women who don’t have children for whatever reasons in life – Mother’s Day is still for us, and a celebration of the strength we have to give motherly love and care to children who aren’t our own.
Happy Mothers Day to all the women out there in whatever role they have in parenting or nurturing children ❤
Is today a hard day for you as you are a ‘Mother of an Angel’ or ‘Daughter to an Angel’? I encourage you to read this affirmation blog post I did to remind every one of how AMAZING they are (Click on blog title below to go to the post):
“YOU ARE…” A SELF-LOVE AFFIRMATION TO REMIND US HOW AMAZING WE ARE AND A BLOG POST TO ENCOURAGE SPEAKING POSITIVELY ABOUT OURSELVES!
Want to read some more of my poetry?
Here are some other poems I have shared (Click on the poem titles below to open them in another window):
“Never Judge A Book By Its Cover” – A poem I wrote when I felt that I was being judged and treated unfairly.
“Making friends with Grief” – A poem I wrote in ode to my Grandad on the anniversary of his passing.
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