Posted in ALL BLOGS, Encouraging Life Lessons & Positivity

How to work on self-worth and find self-value, after life has knocked you down.

This post encouraging you to keep working at your self-worth, is inspired by a photo I chose to post on Instagram for ‘International Women’s Day’ – a photo including the suggestion of me wearing a crown on my head, just like the statue next to me. (You’ll know from my instagram @helens_journey that posing with statues all over the world is just one of my things! lol) I chose this photo simply because the notion of wearing a crown reminded me of my worth and it has been such an important part of my healing journey and personal growth these past few years. So I wanted to do a post to remind everyone about their own crown and an encouragement to straighten it and strengthen it! I hope it is as much as an encouragement to you, as it has been for me…

We forget that we are amazing, even if we aren’t always treated like we are. We nurture, and care but we also command. We ooze kindness, love, support and guidance. We give all we have in effort, sweat, tears and blood. We endure and we survive. We get bruised, broken and scarred. Yet our war wounds can become our reminders of all we survived and give us a source of strength to continue forward. So never forget you deserve to wear that crown, you are worthy of its placement on your head! So this encouragement is for all.

An encouragement for self-worth, to remind you to straighten and strengthen your crown, after life and others have knocked it off!

When I look at the image below with my imaginary crown that inspired this post, I just want to assure you that whether you see your own crown or not, when you look in the mirror, never doubt that it is there! Never forget your worth, the way you deserve to be treated, the equality that should be given & the respect due.

Just like a Queen or King can choose the best people to appoint to different roles in their palace, you too have the right to choose the goings on in your royal kingdom and who gets to be inside the palace or just in the outside world on the other side of the palace walls. You too have the right to dismiss people from your life if they aren’t right for you, if they are unhealthy to your mental health and if they are incapable of delivering on your basic requirements for how you want to be treated. Not every guest brings the same things to the banqueting table and not all gifts that guests bring have to be accepted if they don’t meet your standards.

The crown is a symbol of you being the ruler of your self and choosing what laws you want to set for the others you let into your life. Not that you are any better than anyone else as they have the right to do that for their own lives as well. I learnt the hard way the damage that can be done to your own crown when someone in your palace turns on you and tries to dampen the sparkle of your crown and its jewels. It can take a lot to find your crown again, to get rid of all the mud thrown on it. So don’t underestimate the importance of knowing there is a crown on your head and ruling your kingdom accordingly.

Self-care isn’t selfish, self-worth isn’t arrogance. Let the imaginary crown you wear, be a reminder of your worth, your value and the authority you have in your life, choices and boundaries!

Helen’s Journey Blog

How to get back up after life has knocked you down

I’m no stranger on my blog to sharing with you some of the battles I have faced in my past or continue to face at present, in order to share how I then try to see the light at the end of the tunnel, see the lessons it taught me and let it give me perspective as well as the pain. Those hard times in life can sometimes have us in the fetal position on the floor, we don’t feel very worthy of a crown in some of those moments. Nevertheless the crown is still there, so when we do manage to get up again, we have to make a conscious effort to remind ourselves of our crown on our heads and straighten it up once again.

When you get back up after life knocks you down, remember to straighten your crown and push forward remembering you wear a crown of self-worth and value!

Straighten your crown by reminding yourself of your worth and value!

Please remember, your value is not dependant on other people’s opinions of you, your marital status, your position in the workplace, the state of your health, if you have a supportive family, whether you can have children or not, if you were in abusive relationship or not, etc. None of the things that have happened to you or around you, determine your worth or what you do or don’t deserve in life!

Additionally, none of the things said about you in the past by others or by yourself, determine your worth either! When you have had someone in your life emotionally abusing you and feeding you lies about yourself, your body, your character, your worth, how others see you, etc – a huge part of that healing process is undoing these false ‘truths’ that were distorted through all the disgusting things they said about you and did to you. I have found it so important to speak new truths into your mind and subconscious, in order to press ‘re-set’ on your perception of self and in turn your worthiness.

In my post ““You are…” a SELF-LOVE AFFIRMATION to remind us how AMAZING we are & encouragement for speaking positively about ourselves.” I talk about ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ and what we feed ourselves we will believe, whether it is true or not. It examines the power there is in how we talk to ourselves and what we say about ourselves too. You see it isn’t just about what others say about us that can affect how we feel about ourselves. We have to put effort and self-discipline into how we also talk to ourselves in our heads.

This positive self-talk is another way in which we can straighten and strengthen our crowns. It can be hard, but I started by saying something positive for every negative I would say or remember being said. This started the re-balancing process. No matter how long it takes, what is most important is actually starting off to build our self-worth up and see our value through the nice things we say about ourselves, the kind way we can treat ourselves and which opinions we want to accept and take on board as ‘truth’.

How to let go of the past, in order to move forward in life.

Yes our crowns get dented, rusty or even fall off and get lost. However, that doesn’t mean they cant be found again, get fixed, be polished and restored to glory. No matter how bad life has you feeling about yourself, there is possibility for change. No matter how low your self-esteem is, there is hope for improvement through self-love. No matter how used we are to treating ourselves like we don’t deserve much in life, there is always room for self-worth to rise through self-care. Don’t let the past or present force you to have a bad future.

When I was struggling with this battle of the past darkening my present and the damage left behind hindering my future, I write all about this struggle and how I worked on overcoming it in my blog post ‘HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK when life makes you HARD ON YOURSELF!’ In this post I also share with you an affirmation I wrote based on the notion of forgiving the past, others and myself in order to move forward, let go and heal. I also created a FREE PRINTABLE of this Affirmation so others can refer back to it when they are struggling with the same thing: Link to download Helen’s Journey affirmation free printable PDF

Increase self-worth, self-value and self-esteem, by using affirmations, meditations, mindfulness, self-love and self-care

Affirmations are positive statements we can say to ourselves to build up our hope, self confidence, self esteem, self worth and self value. As well as these I used Bible verses, Christian meditation and mindfulness to help me speak words of self-value over myself and to myself. I have a board on Pinterest full of these that you can follow and use them to say positives to yourself in order to strengthen your crown and ‘reset’ old self perspectives:

I also have a Pinterest board full of self-care tips and self-love ideas for you to do:

I am a big advocate on my blog for all things self-love and self-care, because I literally had to love myself back into having enough self-worth again that I would never accept unacceptable treatment again. I had to care for my self because I was the only person who could work on myself internally to work on healing and self-growth. Only by putting the care I so easily put into others, actually into caring for myself did I help myself see my self-value increasing again. Let me share with you a list of previous blog posts that I wrote from different points along this personal journey with self worth and value, may these posts encourage you to straighten and strengthen your crown, just as they did for me:

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21 thoughts on “How to work on self-worth and find self-value, after life has knocked you down.

  1. LOVE it, Helen! Sometimes we can forget the crown, forget we need to straighten up and walk tall. The positive self-talk and affirmations are such a good idea too, they can help ignite a little spark to keep us going and I think that, bit by bit, it builds on our confidence and sense of self-worth because it’s not something that will change overnight. Such a positive post, very nicely done!
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Caz, for your words of appreciation. It defo is a process that we can purposely build on day by day – but oh so worth it in the long run! Thank you for sharing the light you give off your crown with me. I appreciate you and your words as always. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Helen, this is awesome! I am grateful for you, your heart and your ministry here on your blog. We all need to hear these words of encouragement. I love how you have used the idea of wearing a crown to convey such a powerful message of self-love, self-respect and worthiness, no matter what we have faced in this life.

    I think my favorite part was when you talked about using positive words of affirmation, meditation on Scripture and what God says about us to hit the re-set button. Amen! Lord knows after we have endured the lies, abuse and traumas at the hands of people who shouldn’t have had the inner court access in our lives (or access at all!), we certainly need the reset.

    I pray every day is a new, fresh day for you. I pray that Abba continues to remind you of your worth, your value and a renewed awakening of what a worthy daughter of the King you are! ♥

    Like

    1. Amen Holly, Amen! Thank you sister in Christ for your prayer as well as your encouraging words.
      It can drain my emotionally when I open up and share personal details etc, but when I come back on to the post when I am ready to read people’s responses – reading such words really encourages me to keep sharing and was worth the effort emotionally to touch others.

      I am grateful for you, your support, understanding and your prayers! Know you are appreciated right back! Helen xx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad to hear you are in a better place now and indeed wearing your crown as well. I think experiencing those down times really makes us know the importance of remembering our crown and doing things in life to remind ourselves of our worth. thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Where’s a gif when you need one? All I’ve got to say to that could be summed up with all that fierce attitude in the “Yaaaaaas, Queen, Yaaaaaas” gif. You are a Queen, and thank you for taking the time to remind the rest of us that we aren’t mere peons.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great post – We are all going to have to face a situation in life in which we feel as though we have been knocked down or broken. The fact we stumbled doesn’t define us. What defines us is our ability to stand up, brush ourselves off and press forward. You’ve offered some great advice on how to do that! Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love the idea of setting rules for the people in your kingdom. It’s a great way to think about what boundaries you have and what behaviours you will or won’t tolerate for other people. The crown is a great metaphor to remind you of how great you are!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love metaphors. Sometimes, esp with emotive subjects, it gives me a way to talk about things in a more factual way rather than emotional way, to get the point across. I defo enjoyed the whole crown and kingdom analogy is this one! 🙂

      Like

  6. So many people need this. It’s so hard to recognise your self worth if it’s been pummelled out of you. It’s important to gain confidence too, don’t you think?

    Liked by 1 person

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